Longing for love: where did it come from?
The longing for love is a widespread feeling. So it’s no wonder it can be viewed scientifically as well.
- biology: When people crave love, they look for a partner. So feeling serves the purpose of procreating and preserving our species by having children.
- philosophy: Here the yearning for love is described as the cornerstone of our social life. In addition to speaking, thinking, and feeling, they are characteristics that make us human.
- psychology: Psychologists argue that yearning for love gives us self-confidence and a sense of self-worth.
The truth is that longing for love certainly has a purpose. It is good for us to believe in true love and yearn for it. However, it becomes a problem if you feel the longing especially for a long time and especially strongly, but it did not materialize. This can make us feel hopeless, which in turn is counterproductive to our search for happiness in love. The longing for love is often associated with a low level of self-love, and therefore can manifest as one person and in a partnership.
Longing for love as individuals
A person who does not currently have a partner can often feel the longing for love. Of course, this depends on how long you’ve been single, whether you just broke up, whether there was unrequited love, or whether you’re happy or not. When you are single, the longing for love can manifest itself in the following situations:
- Evenings or weekends alone on the couch/at home alone
- Occasions where love (family and children) is at the fore, such as wedding, birth or baptism
- Desire for sex or affection
- Problems where you want someone else’s support (for example, a problem at work, a bad day, or an illness)
- Events and parties where the most friends or people who have +1 . appear
- Stupid sayings about the inability to connect or stubborn inquiries about the status of a personal relationship, along the lines of “Why doesn’t anyone want you?”
It is very important here How long does the longing for love last and how to deal with it. Singles who have healthy self-esteem and know they are good enough on their own will go through these low levels unscathed. However, if you’re single and feel little or no self-love, you can also get lost in this negative pit, wondering if you’ll find love and become frustrated.
Longing for love in partnership
But not only when you are single, but also in a relationship you can feel the desire to love. Here, too, the duration, intensity, and interaction of each other in the relationship play a role. Longing can occur with only one person in the relationship or with both, perhaps with different intensity. Signs of this will be:
- You ask yourself if you should break up, but you don’t really think about it
- Feel lonely, misunderstood, or underappreciated
- One feels that he does more for the relationship than the other (See also: Toxic Relationship Checklist)
- You are in a long distance relationship and spend a lot of time longing for each other
- You want to be a father/mother and have kids, but the other person isn’t ready yet
If you yearn for love within a relationship, This may indicate that the partner may not be the right partner. Or it could mean that the unhappy relationship is no longer working and must be ended. But it may also be a personal problem: can one of them not accept love? Could one of them not open properly? Here too, you should take a closer look at the factors of self-esteem and self-love if you want to save the relationship.
Longing for love: How do we deal with it
If you feel longing for love, do not despair. This feeling is totally fine and you have to let it go. If you suppress it, it may get worse. We have listed some strategies that can help you deal with longing.
In the short term: distraction
When you are feeling lonely and feeling sad, the first step is to distract yourself from negative feelings and do something to take your mind off things. Of course, you should not suppress your feelings – accept them, but then turn your attention to something new.
- Hobby: It doesn’t matter if you love reading a book, playing sports, or wanting to start a DIY project: a familiar or new hobby is a great distraction from love and sad emotions.
- Friends and family: Conversation with a trusted person can also help you think of other, nicer ideas. In our minds, the problems are often much bigger than they really are. Discussion helps.
- Get out in the air: A walk, a short trip, or even a trip can also help to leave the longing behind. A change of scenery often works wonders.
- comfort: Is there a song, movie, dish or book that always makes you feel better? bring it.
Long-term: analyzing and understanding patterns of thought
If you often lose yourself in the longing for love and awareness, you should try in the long run to better understand and deal with these feelings.
- note: Keep a journal and note when negative feelings arise and if anything triggered them. This way, you can better understand the emergence of your longing and possibly even prevent it.
- Self love and self esteem: Actively work on your relationship with yourself. Saying “You can only be loved if you love yourself” can be annoying, but it’s true. Treat yourself and strengthen your relationship with yourself.
- Be good to yourself: In any case, it is very important that you treat yourself with love and care. Because stress or pressure will only increase your negative feelings.
- Ask for support: Do I exchange ideas with a trusted person or talk to a therapist about your longing and your relationship with love. With outside help, you can better understand and deal with your thought patterns.
Do not forget: The longing for love is a natural and important feeling. Don’t be shy about it, just try to accept it. And remember that no matter how hopeless it may seem at times, you deserve to be loved and you will get your happy ending and your affection. Find love within yourself – the rest will work out on its own. ❤️
Sources used: elitepartner.de, focus.de