Where are the limits and when do they become inverse?

The limits of couples therapy or when couples therapy is counterproductive

I have been a couples therapist for over 20 years. I have met many husbands and worked with them on different topics and concerns. For the first few years, the classic topics of couples therapy were mainly . For example, the partner cheated after many years, the relationship became too boring or the relationship went into crisis because the children left home or the partner retired and daily life had to be reorganized.

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All topics can be handled well. These couples usually need a few sessions to get new starting points for their relationship, and have often been able to grow through the crisis and find each other again. Because of my YouTube channel specializing in the topic of toxic relationships, the topics and of course the couples have changed.

I now basically advise people to get in and out of toxic relationships. And I keep hearing that these couples have also been in couples therapy, often for a very long time! It should be emphasized again that a relationship is not immediately toxic if things are not going well. In toxic relationships, we are not usually ourselves.

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Toxic relationships cannot be saved

We are addicted to needles like love addicts, we can’t eat or sleep properly and we’re just spinning around the relationship. Personally, I only advise partners from toxic relationships individually or, if only during the conversation it turns out to be a toxic relationship, end the session or advise against continuing. Toxic relationships cannot be saved and are therefore wrong with marital therapy.

Even mild separation, which can be an important and meaningful concern in traditional couple therapy, often makes no sense in toxic relationships. On the contrary, the treatment of couples can lead to completely opposite results in such horoscopes. Under certain circumstances, deal-breaking is not recognized as such, or it is believed that good communication and a lot of understanding of the partner can improve and preserve the relationship. Above all, a partner who does not emit toxic behavior is left behind.

Marital therapy wants to focus on us

They may then feel guilty or even responsible for certain relationship conflicts. Couples therapy aims to we In focus to confirm and strengthen the level of the spouses. If you are in a toxic relationship as a hyper-pole or rather a dependent person, then you are already feeling a very big responsibility for the other person and for the success of the relationship.

In this case, the individual must be strengthened. One’s limits must be seen again and, in the next step, verbally expressed and enforced through active action. Conjugal therapy can nurture the partner with toxic behaviors and reinforce the behavior. If both partners want to work on themselves and the relationship in spite of everything, they should first of all do it individually.

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This can be individual counseling or psychotherapy. However, I have experienced here quite often that relationships can fall apart very quickly. Then there are simply no mutual attractions. But this could also be a win-win for everyone involved.

The author and his courses can be accessed via www.liebeschip.de. His current book “From Victim to Designer – From Toxic Relationships, to Life” is available online and in all bookstores.

in the column “on the sofa” Write changing experts on the topics of partnership, mindfulness, career, and health.

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