Unconditional Love: Unrequited Love

unconditional love
Why true love does not demand

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Unconditional love is not something that comes easily. Loving your partner with all its quirks can be hard work. In this article you will discover why work is so important.

“If you really love me, then…” Everyone has probably heard this sentence before. Often in a relationship that eventually broke up. Is this a coincidence? Hardly, because most people constantly ask their partner or partner I do not go.

But why do these sentences keep falling over and over again? A research group from the Marital Relations and Family Committee from Germany and Canada discovered that for a stable relationship, among other things, independence very important. A partner who torments this independence on terms will destroy the relationship sooner or later.

What does unconditional love mean?

First of all, unconditional love means that unconditional love. What looks good on paper can mean hard work in real life. Because it unconditionally means that you love your partner as he/she is. With all its quirks and little mistakes.

However, unconditional love does not mean accepting everything your partner does or says. And Above all, unconditional love is not a one-way street. A lasting relationship can only work if they both love the same thing.

You must learn unconditional love

Statistically, more than 35 percent of all marriages in Germany end in divorce. This number has risen sharply over the past 60 years. came in The fifties of the last century, one divorce for every twelve marriagesIt was In 2019, the number of marriages was just under 2.4 per divorce.

In addition to positive social developments, such as the fact that women are no longer highly dependent on men, it also plays a role Desire for a relationship Role. It has declined in recent decades, but is essential to unconditional love. And how do you learn to love unconditionally?

What makes a long term relationship?

As mentioned earlier, unconditional love should not come from just one person. Only those who are unconditionally loved can love unconditionally for the long term. According to a study by the German-Canadian research group, five points are important for a long-term relationship:

  1. Satisfaction: If you are happy in your relationship, you are happy. He also conveys this happiness to his partner.
  2. Frequency of conflicts: If it appears from time to time, it’s not bad. Conversely, an argument can also purify the relationship. It shouldn’t happen often.
  3. Nearby areas: Can you open up to your partner and tell everything? Then you have an affinity that you can’t take for granted. A good foundation for a long relationship.
  4. independence: Whoever loves unconditionally gives the other freedom. It is very different from co-dependence in a relationship. And they are very important only those who are free to go can return.
  5. commitment: Commitment means the already mentioned will of both of them to stay together. Anyone who wants a long-term partnership is also willing to do something for it.

The advantage of strong agreement: Both partners become more alike over the course of the relationship. So we are getting closer to each other. our article”What is the most important component of a relationship?“Gives you another point for a healthy partnership not to be underestimated.

How do I love unconditionally?

Can you learn unconditional love? This is good. However, you may have to work on yourself. Who, for example very jealous He, with unconditional love, would probably be They have their difficulties. The following things are a prerequisite for unconditional love:

  • Honesty: Being honest with yourself and your partner builds trust. And trust is one of those The most important basics in a relationship.
  • Respect: If you respect your partner, you are showing the person that you care about them. This includes respect the independence of the other.
  • Cohesion: If you pass each other through thick and thin, it welds you both and strengthens trust. If the other person can count on you, you will benefit from them, too.
  • Self-esteem: very important! Only those who love themselves and do not feel inferior in a relationship can love unconditionally. A long-term partnership can only succeed on equal terms!
  • Positive thinking: Believe in the relationship and yourself. Then it also works with unconditional love. positive form of prophecy.
  • Listening: Listening to each other and having deep conversations where you share your concerns and interests strengthens the bond. Only those who know their partner’s deepest being can show his/her love without demands.
  • Don’t expect anything in return: a point already made in the term “unconditional love.” Avoid the notorious ones if possible if / then sentencesBecause there is always an expectation in them. This can harm the relationship in the long run.

By the way: in our article “10 Underrated Factors for a Happy Relationship“You get more advice about your happiness in love.

How do I know unconditional love?

You quickly realize that you love and are loved unconditionally. Unconditional love is like pregnancy: you either have it or you don’t. There is no between them. If you enjoy responding to your partner’s needs and, on the contrary, feel that your partner is there for you, then you love each other unconditionally.

The relationship, especially the partnership in which one loves unconditionally always working. Do you enjoy this work and are you ready to approach and respond to your partner, to respect/listen to him? Congratulations, you love unconditionally.

Can unconditional love be harmful?

Yes it can any when it is turned on only one side. Then worship monogamy Leads to self-abandonment and becomes toxic. This affects not only one’s self-esteem, but also one’s mental health. You can tell if unconditional love is hurting you by the following signs:

  • Your partner does not consider your feelings, but on the other hand asks to consider his feelings.
  • Agreed upon boundaries (yes, there should also be boundaries in a healthy relationship) that your partner regularly crosses.
  • You always stand by your partner and are there for him/her, but you cannot expect the same.
  • The future works together according to his/her plan only. Your future plans will not be taken into account.

If you recognize one of these points in your partner, Have a clarifying conversation. One-sided relationships that do not occur at eye level usually end with painful breaks.

Would you like to share ideas with other readers? Then take a look at our BRIGITTE community.

Bridget

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