Children and feelings – adults are often helpless – advertisements

For many parents, it is unimaginable not to provide any help even if their child needs it. But why exactly do we if we send our children to their room in anger or underestimate their fear of the monster under the bed? A question that Nadine Dzulik spent a long time trying to answer.

Because we haven’t learned to deal with the sometimes strong emotions of our children,” says Nadine Dzulik, a children’s book author and Flümer® trainer from Wilhermsdorf. “As children, we have had to suppress our fears, anger, or feelings of helplessness. We have learned how to feel and how to act appropriately. Tantrums are not tolerated and often only make an impression when we were particularly kind and gentle.” So it is not surprising that many adults today They simply work and are nearing the end of their lives without thinking about their wants and needs.

If we meet our children from this inner attitude, whose emotional world is not yet completely constrained by rules, boundaries, beliefs, and evaluations, we also automatically encounter those parts of us that we once closed off. Now we are suddenly faced with this unbridled anger that should not have existed or the fear that always seemed unfounded. We now realize that these feelings are dangerous if they were punished with violence or separation in our childhood. Then we unconsciously react as our parents taught us and thus pass on to our children what has hurt us the most: an unhealthy way of dealing with feelings and emotions.

Nadine Dzulik is convinced: “In every human being there is a deep need to hold and protect, even in moments of strong feelings. Moments that allow us to experience that we are absolutely right and loved by all that is alive in us.”
But how do we succeed in satisfying all the feelings of our children in a way that accepts and appreciates? Realizing that these feelings are no longer dangerous to us today. We can get angry today without fear of punishment. Today we can succeed in establishing a new way of dealing with feelings and emotions within our family, which promotes the healthy development of our children and strengthens their self-esteem.

“Since I’ve been flapping, I’ve suddenly gotten really good at school.
Sama has always been with me and now I wrote my first 3. “
Eren, fourth grader

With the help of Flumer® – a concept that gives emotion a face – this change is easy. With them, every person, big or small, is able to easily perceive, express and influence their inner world in a playful way. Then there’s Wilbert, the fury who just wants to say what’s bothering her. Or Albert the fear that activates because he wants security. Suddenly it becomes easier to talk about feelings. Suddenly the child finds words that express his inner world, and often one finds the reason behind the anger. Only when we know the true cause of our thoughts and behavior can we bring about real change. Anything else would just be do damage and look like a car warning light you’re trying to cover up so you don’t have to see it anymore.

Nadine Dzulik
© Thomas Grad

In addition to her work as an author of children’s books, Nadine Dzulik also runs workshops for families, schools, and daycares. She provides personal training and has trained since July 2021. Her goal is to change the way we deal with feelings and emotions in the long term. Many coaches, therapists, and educators from Erlangen, Nuremberg and Herzogenaurach, among others, are already following her vision and have been trained by her to become a Certified Flümer® Trainer. “Only when we have something on hand that makes it easy to deal with children’s feelings in a playful way can we succeed in breaking through our old patterns of behavior and reaction. Only then are we able to respond lovingly and appreciatively to our children’s feelings as well as to our own.”

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