A new love across a platform for mourners

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A new love across a platform for mourners


Marietta Brand and Victor Muller met via trosthelden.de

Photo: Martina Petersen

Marietta Brand and Victor Muller Armalta. They met and fell in love on the Hamburg platform trostholden.de.

Marietta Brand, 78, and Victor Muller, 80, experience every day that laughter and crying can go hand in hand. Sometimes she has to widow She just hears a tune on the radio and is overwhelmed with memories of her late husband, Dieter. “It’s good then that Victor hugs me and calms me down,” says Marietta Brand. “Since we are the same Saucepan With experience, we can connect with each other on a deep level. I feel like we’ve known each other forever.”

they have Elderlywho lost their longtime husbands in 2021 after a long period of intensive care, only found the courage to break new ground in their endless grief at the beginning of this year: Media from www.trosthelden.de‘, the world’s first digital bereavement friend recruitment service, and go there in search of a suitable peer. In the detailed questionnaire, they entered their information about the death, their family circumstances, their individual approach to grief and, after registration, were able to contact those who were equally affected. Victor Muller says: “I was devastated by the loneliness and I desperately needed someone to talk to.” “What I liked about Marietta’s profile was that she made the effort to look forward with confidence.”

Sharing photos of the deceased

The widow from Hamburg wrote to the elderly citizen a few lines over the easy-to-use online platform, which moved her deeply with her sensitivity. Soon they were sending each other pictures showing them with their deceased partners. Then they started talking to each other via video calls and supporting each other in moments of crisis. A month later, Victor Muller first visited the “consolation heroine” at her home in Exetertal.

While some friendly bonds in analog life had already developed through the internet portal, the two big guys soon realized they had more in common than just sympathy. “I wasn’t looking for a new partner. I know I will love my late wife Karen until the end of my life,” says Victor Muller. “But I am also very grateful that contacting Marietta gave me the courage to face life again. We both feel that we can work together through our own grieving process and at the same time feel something like happiness again.”



Understanding a new way of life

Soon they both visited the graves of their former partners together. For a few weeks, the couple has been commuting between their homes, which are separated by 200 kilometers, gradually getting to know the family and circle of friends. In these meetings, they sometimes have to seek to understand their new life plan. “There were also questions about how I could exchange my deceased wife for a new partner so quickly after 60 years of marriage,” Victor Muller says. “Then I openly share my feelings: Our deceased partners will never be interchangeable. Rather, it is about integrating them into our lives together.”

Both bravely face the challenge of telling their new partner their memories, showing appreciation for the deceased while at the same time living a new life together with confidence. This tightrope walk also includes respecting the boundaries and spaces of others’ memory. “Victor is often interested in his wife’s cheesecake,” says Marietta Brand, smiling. “I will never try my hand at this cake. But I know I make cakes he loves too. Good differently.”

More information: www.trosthelden.de

Updated: Sat 07/05/2022 at 08:55

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