Children learn a lot from their parents. What they learn from us, they often take with them into adulthood. So the way we and our children deal with emotions is especially important.
A child’s tantrum can occur in many situations. Sometimes it’s just plain tired: exhausted and irritable. Sometimes it can be about being able to watch another episode of your favorite series, staying up late or craving ice cream, even though you’ve “never been hungry” with broccoli. But what is essential for us and our loved ones is allowing and understanding these feelings and emotions. Why is my child reacting the way he is now? And what am I thinking? Here are some tips to help our children express their anger better and thus better manage it.
1. Ask how your child is feeling
When it comes to anger in particular, parents’ first reaction is often to suppress emotions. But it can be very important for your child to express his feelings and moods. If they know that feeling angry is not a good thing, they may shut down in the future. Often behind the anger are other complex emotions that led to the situation. If your child is sad or perhaps feeling offended, it can lead to anger because the feelings are overwhelming. So ask the question: How do you feel? Express the feelings in words and help your child understand what is going on inside him.
2. Allows feelings to be felt
Children are not yet able to properly regulate their emotions. But, as adults, we often do not understand the emotional outbursts of our loved ones. One of the reasons for this is that we are already better able to think about our own behavior and fortunately haven’t felt the way a young child does for long. When your child has a tantrum, the best idea is to stay calm and not scold, judge, or abuse your child. Half an hour of screaming just because you want to move from the bathroom to bed? Instead of deciding for ourselves that our child is overreacting, we should think about the first point and ask our child about it. Our children should not think that they are doing something wrong with their feelings. They are their little person with their very own feelings, which they should not take up in the future.
3. Helps express feelings
Young children in particular often lack the vocabulary to express why they are angry. Or, more accurately, whether they were angry at all. Children can learn to recognize and describe feelings in the future. For example, giving your child examples to help illustrate the picture of anger for him can help: she. For example, you could ask if the feeling of anger is as big as an elephant or as strong as a lion. Music or crayons can also be tools that teach your child new ways of expression. Books or children’s series are also great helpers. For example, when an angry lion is actually very angry because he has a thorn in his palm – or a bunny is angry because his friends left him in fact alone. This way, your child learns how feelings arise and that anger is not always due to just one cause.
4. Let the children be children
Children are individual and diverse, just like everyone else. That’s why we must teach our children that they can be themselves and not slow them down. For example, if your child really wants to wear one of these shoes, but we think the others are nicer or more practical. This is not a good reason not to let him: she makes the decision himself. This can frustrate and upset the little one. When the little ones start to be their own person and convey their desires, it is something to applaud.
The exception, of course, is when it comes to wearing summer shoes in winter. But as parents, we should take our time and calmly explain why this is not a good idea. Or even better: let our child find out for themselves. According to the slogan: Do you think these shoes are warmer or cooler than these? And beyond that: is it warm outside or cold outside? Try to let your child find the solution on his own and praise him for it. It also boosts self-confidence at the same time.
5. Explain your feelings
Children learn to set an example. We are role models for them so it is important that we set a good example. So if you have a certain feeling or emotion yourself, share it with your child. Like yelling at you and hurting you in a tantrum, even though he definitely didn’t mean to. Explain to him, “It saddened me that you said that because…” and don’t let your child guess. On their own, they won’t know what you’re feeling or why.
6. Be a good role model for yourself
Babies absorb information like a sponge. If you overreact and yell in a situation, your child may adopt the same behavior. So, know that you are a role model for your child. Knowing how to manage your emotions helps your child, too. Instead, teach your children the power of positivity: talking well about their own abilities will help your child learn to motivate themselves and recognize their strengths. When your child is upset or stressed, tell him things are about to get better. Explain how: He might react and the importance of feeling and expressing these feelings, even if they are temporary.
7. Get out!
Fresh air is a real miracle cure. When playing on the playground or in the garden, your child’s mood often improves on its own, as being outside also helps the little ones to relax and take a deep breath. Being in nature with the people you care about only lifts your spirits.
8. Some reactions have consequences
The child is allowed to feel, to freak out now and then and to be overwhelmed by his own feelings. Having said that, we should also teach them that it’s best to let emotions sink in before they coalesce. Feeling bad doesn’t mean, for example, that they should throw things in their anger, hit others, or throw bad words at us. Children must learn that their actions can also have consequences and what their reactions lead to in other people. For example sadness or anxiety.
9. Feeling safe
Perhaps the most important point is to give your children an open ear. He said, She should feel safe talking to you about her feelings. So the first step should always be to remain calm, listen, not judge, and be aware of the child’s feelings.
Source used: arenessact.com