Professionals think about love, sex and arguments

Rostock.Couples used to go to therapy in secret. The fact that there was a crisis in the relationship was only shyly recognized in calm. Time is over. More and more couples seek professional support in love and life crises and deal with them openly. Fortunately, say Regine Gortler and you’re while. “Seeking help is evaluating the relationship. Couples therapy should be as natural and natural as physical therapy.”

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The two healers in their work in the Petri district of Rostock experience that this reaches more and more people: in Gerberbruch they advise newlyweds about love and those who have been married for a long time and know where things can go wrong in partnerships . This practice was set up by couples therapist Miriam Charnober. Today she shares the venue with Anke, Regine Gürtler and Sabine Bäcker. Each of them has a specialty. For good reason, because the reasons people seek professional advice are as diverse as the main characters.

Clients include young couples who, having initially floated on the ninth cloud, are suddenly disturbed by the quirks of their loved one. Cuckolds struggle with jealousy after ejaculation. Married couples who find themselves lovers again after the departure of their children or who have to deal with the transition of their mother-in-law. Loved ones of the 60+ generation who do not want to endure sexual calm even in old age. Couples come to therapists who choose to criticize or remain silent, and who disagree about parenting, housekeeping, unresolved grief, or childhood trauma.

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Even if couples therapy has become normal in the meantime – some clichés still hold. For example, it’s always women who drag their husbands into a contraction by saying “Honey, we have to talk!” Indeed, says Regine Gortler, more and more interested gentlemen want to work on the relationship with professional help. W: Marital therapy does not mean that both partners have to be there. It helps some people explore their feelings and needs and change communication patterns with therapeutic help. W: The treatment does not have to be beneficial. This is also a form of maintaining relationships.

Another misconception: that couples therapists try everything to fix relationships. “Sometimes a good breakup is the right outcome for both sides,” says Anki While. “We don’t have omnipotence fantasies, we know our limits. We’re not saviors for couples, we support them in their relationship work,” adds Regine Gortler.

The chemistry must be right

On average, ten sessions are necessary, but ultimately the duration of treatment depends on the participants and the problem involved. She also has clients with whom, after a few conversations, she realized, “I’m not the right person for them,” she says during. Because as in partnership, the same goes for therapy: the chemistry must be right.

When does treatment make any sense at all? Professionals say it varies from case to case. “It depends on the individual’s suffering. If I feel like something is out of balance in my relationship and is really stressing me out, that would be a good time,” says Regine Gortler. Luck, the crowd doesn’t come until “when it’s five or twelve,” as you say you’re during. Couples counseling is also useful as a form of precaution and not just another possible exit before a divorce attorney.

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Healers face crises, too

And what about the pros? Couples therapists definitely don’t have relationship issues, do they? “A partnership always requires two,” says Regina Gortler, laughing. She, too, has had crises with her husband and has sought help with couples counseling years ago. In the end, both partners will have to take responsibility for their relationship. The breach is allowed to fly as well. “Differences keep the relationship alive. Crises are opportunities and they ripen.” “You don’t always have to be peace and joy and pies,” he says during.

Train in Petrie

Miriam Scharnober founded the practice of Sexual and Couples Therapy at Gerberbruch 5. Today, Anke During, Sabine Bäcker and Regine Gürtler also advise their clients here. Women have years of experience. Couples who want to benefit from their help can find all the information and contacts online: www.paarberatung-rostock.de, www.ein-ander.de

What helps couples improve their relationship? Take your own and your partner’s needs seriously, Regine Gortler says. “And staying in touch is everything and the end of it all. Couples should consciously set aside a period of time during the week to talk about their own experiences.” Rule #1: Send I messages instead of accusing the other person. The allegations are not constructive, but they cause hard fronts. Instead of “I’m late again” instead of “I’d get hurt if you stopped me.”

Couple therapists Regine Gortler (right) and Anke while helping with relationship crises.

Even in a crisis, things don’t always have to be serious. “Humour is so important. It often gets lost. Being able to laugh about your own quirks and those of your partner helps,” says Anke during. “And let development. Changes are normal. I would be concerned if my partner or I were the same by the time I was 50 as I was in my early twenties.”

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If you also need support during love crises, you can get it from the couple therapists at Petriviertel.

Written by Angie Bernstein

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