A representative of the ideals of beauty: “No one becomes more beautiful through self-loathing” – Kulmbach

What do you mean by learned behavior?

Girls from an early age are praised for how beautiful they are. So even when the baby was trimmed to the outside. Only appearance. On the other hand, boys are ranked based on their performance. So it is no wonder that 86% of all plastic surgeries in Germany are performed on women.

Why do so many women undergo plastic surgery?

Advertising programs or actors tell us that we don’t live up to an ideal. The more this happens, the less perfect we feel. In addition, such interventions have become socially acceptable and are now the order of the day. In addition, the obsession with beauty and youth is also a major economic branch. A lot of money is made from the dissatisfaction of the individual.

What is beauty to you?

Well, it is very difficult to answer. Beauty is a subjective thing. For me, beauty has to do with authenticity. By standing alone. to feel good. If there is no soul and heart in the body, then there is no beauty.

Where does the obsession with beauty and youth come from?

I think it has to do with the belief that when we achieve a certain model of beauty, we feel happy and satisfied. But this is not true. Because the ideal of beauty does not remain the same. Models are getting older, too. The scourge of time destroys everyone. You can only look your best as a teen. Models are sent on the catwalk at the age of 15 or 16 with a size 34. Once their hormones kick in, it becomes more and more difficult to maintain the ideal, they have to punish themselves. Many women are constantly chasing an unattainable goal.

What does that do to you?

Chasing illusions make us despair. This leads to complexities of inhibitions, shame, fears and inferiority.

Has the obsession with beauty reached men, too?

Sure, but surgical modifications are more common in women. For men, for example, it is about six-pack surgeries. But also about eyelid tightening and lifting. Hair transplant surgeries are welcome.

What if someone feels ugly?

The point is that the underlying problem does not change with surgery. You can do everything. The question is, am I doing this because I’m trying to fill a void inside of me? For example, an eyelid lift makes sense to me if the eyelid impairs vision.

We must learn to see how wonderful the body is at keeping us healthy. We live in it and begin a story to fulfill expectations we wouldn’t have had if they weren’t constantly commented on us from the outside.

How should you view yourself instead?

Helps to change views. Wrinkles can be unsightly, but they are a sign of the life we ​​live. You can see it as a flaw, but also as part of his biography. Body aging, that’s normal and the way things are.

Are beautiful people easier in career?

There are studies that say that people who are considered attractive have easier jobs. But also a person who stands alone with self-confidence, who has developed his own style, who takes good care of himself and is there for others, is also seen as attractive. If there is nothing beyond pure external beauty, it won’t help in the long run. You may have opened the door, but then, performance is required.

How can you see yourself positively?

The first thing to do is get to know what’s behind the entire system. Then you have to learn to free yourself from it. The beginning is definitely to share ideas with others about your problems. One must learn not only to accept oneself but also to accept others as they are. Because when we meet someone else, we don’t know what is behind the look or the face.

How can you motivate yourself?

We tend to focus on our mistakes. This soon becomes a lack of thought. Of course, if you look at yourself in the mirror, you can hear the first negative wave. But then you must change your perspective and learn to see beautiful things. For example, you can see the beautiful things in the world even with drooping eyelids.

In their seminar, you want to sharpen your focus on the basics, on what really makes people special. What is the essence?

You don’t have to be hard on yourself and be thankful for what you have. Because gratitude brings happiness. If I hate my body, one must ask why. Hating myself does not make me more beautiful. What is behind it? What emotions do I think I feel when I change something about my appearance? Do you hope for more acceptance, appreciation and love? You can do it better for yourself by examining, changing, and adjusting your point of view. No one can give you self-esteem from the outside, it comes from the inside.

Interviewed by Gabriel Folch

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