“B” in LGBTQ – not visible under the rainbow?!

June is the month of pride. Pride Month is the start of Summer Pride, the month that celebrates the anniversary of the Stonewall Riots on June 28 – the founding event of the modern LGBTQ movement. His anniversary marks the start of the annual Christopher Street Days – all over the world!

but: The letter “B” in LGBTQ is often overlooked in the apparent open discourse about gay, lesbian, transgender, and other identities. This is despite the fact that sexual dimorphism is probably the most common form of sexual non-difference. Exactly this circumstance is currently being increasingly discussed …

The next series as a role model

For example in the popular Netflix series “Heartstopper”.

This is where teenage Nick, the seemingly self-confident rugby star and school sweetheart, falls in love with Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom in Pirates of the Caribbean. And that his feelings for the shy Charlie, who was sitting next to him in class, confuses the 16-year-old even more.


Nick (L.) finally admitted he's bisexual - and in season one he no longer keeps it to himself.  And so Charlie (right) finally officially got the couple's dreams, that Foto: Netflix

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Nick (L.) finally admitted he’s bisexual in season one – and no longer keeps it to himself. And so Charlie (right) has finally officially got the dream couple so many fans are cheering for.Photo: Netflix

“Heartstopper” shows Nick’s search for identity and the awakening of Charlie’s gay love in a particularly sensitive way. In recent weeks, the British series has sensitized millions of viewers around the world to the emotional state of heterosexual and homosexual people, who feel emotionally or sexually attracted to more than one gender.

“Duality is not a shout!”

The fact that duality is often overlooked in social discourse is shown in the new non-fiction book Bi – Discover Diverse Love (Hanser-Verlag). Its author, legal psychologist Julia Shaw (35), who was born in Cologne, says clearly: “Duality is not a trend!”

Because it has been documented since at least the end of the nineteenth century. We also know from zoology that many animal species exhibit bisexual behaviour. Or in other words, “duplication is the norm.”

in a study on German sexual behavior However, only 3.4 percent of men and 4.5 percent of women officially described themselves as bisexual. But: the number seems too low to experts. In contrast, in a survey of college students, one-third of men and nearly three-fifths of women occasionally felt a sexual attraction to the same sex.

“What I find very interesting in psychology is the number of people who describe themselves as straight and have bisexual experiences,” says Shaw, who grew up in Canada and lives in London as a researcher and author. )).

According to Shaw, the social debate about bisexuality is behind the acceptance of homosexuality by about 30 years. Her book “Bi” is the first popular non-fiction science book on the subject from a bestselling publisher. Shaw says a lot of people have some kind of fear of liquidity. It is rooted behind one-sided identities.

As a bisexual woman, Shaw said she often wonders where she belongs. This is why she wrote the book herself, which she misses as a “binary world atlas”. Unfortunately, the queer community of “bi’s” is not necessarily a safe haven (“safe space” as it is called today).

While gays and bisexuals have met with a kind of “hypersexuality” – along the lines of: “You can’t be loyal and want to do that to everyone” – lesbians and gays have often reacted negatively because they view bisexuals as deceptive or frustrating, and may still be On the way to the “correct exit”.

More bi than gay

Results: Arguably more people are attracted to more than one gender than “100%” of lesbians and gays. The difference: Most bisexuals don’t talk about it – neither in a relationship, nor in family, nor with friends, and certainly not at work. Bisexuals are more likely to hide their orientation than homosexuals, Shaw cites studies.

▶ ︎ According to Xu, the word “bi” (from the Latin “bi-” meaning “two”) is often misunderstood to mean men and women. But this is the wrong duo. Rather, since the concept was founded, it has been about homosexual and heterosexual people.


Julia Shaw says: Foto: Jens Kalaene/dpa

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“Bisexuality needs to be taken very seriously, just as homosexuality is now taken very seriously,” says Julia Shaw.Photo: Jens Kalaene / dpa

Shaw doesn’t think much of the German obliterate that says “a little bi never hurts.” “This is outwardly positive, because acceptance is of course the necessary first step for a ‘bi-inclusive’ society,” she told dpa. “But if we take a closer look at the saying, what it means is that many people in homosexual situations are ‘just playing,’ but they are.” Truly “heterosexual.” Such saying undermines bisexual identities.

Celebrate the diversity of love

On the other hand, Shaw finds the Netflix production “Heartstopper” useful: “A series like this is very important for showing duality. In the show, androgynous boy Nick lights up in Bi Pride colors – pink, purple, and blue – while admitting himself his feelings for his friend Charlie.”


Two boys get to know each other.  Two boys become friends.  Two boys fall in love.  Gentle Charlie (right) and Crazy Rugby Nick (left) meet at school and soon realize they're there.Foto: Netflix

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Two boys get to know each other. Two boys become friends. Two boys fall in love. Gentle Charlie (right) and rugby crazy Nick (left) meet at school and soon find their friendship unexpectedly turns into a love affair – featured on Netflix.Photo: Netflix

The story of coming of age shows that these feelings can be exhilarating. “Accepting them — rather than suppressing them — is a healthy aspect of life.” Diverse love should be celebrated – “in the same way we celebrate other love experiences.”

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