Recognizing a toxic relationship: the expert explains

You hear it over and over again:This relationship is toxic!Meaning: The partnership is classified as unhealthy for the people involved. Notable Examples There are many toxic relationships: actor couple Johnny Depp and Amber Heard recently had a public mud fight in court.

Now you might be wondering: Am I in a toxic relationship too? What warning signs, also known as “red flags” (German: red cloth), support this? have professional advice catch up with Psychological diploma. Ulrich Wilken Spoken by myndpaar. with his daughter Leonie Wilkin A psychotherapist has developed a digital couples counseling service called myndpaar – a relationship app for individuals and couples.

in our area an interview Reply to Ulrich Wilkin 7 questions About toxic relationships and their warning signs.

Expert Interview: A Toxic Relationship? These warning signs should ring alarm bells

1. When is a relationship “toxic”?

Psychological diplomat. Ulrich Wilken (The Legendary Couple): A relationship is toxic when it is between one or more people power imbalance consists. An imbalance of power can arise, for example, from a financial imbalance. If this imbalance of power is exploited to the detriment of a person, then one speaks of a toxic relationship. Yet there You can’t get strong without fainting on the other side. For a person to be able to exercise power over another person, he or she needs someone on the other side to experience the situation as helpless. this is how it is Toxic relationships are not dysfunctionalYes, they work. They are just very often suffering.

2. How do I know that the relationship is not good for me?

I can say that the relationship is not good for me because I I don’t feel loved for my own good. If I still feel like Not rich, not enough And so on, the relationship doesn’t do me any good. But I should try to find out if these feelings were not present before my current relationship. If this is so, and it often is, then I must learn to understand what I contribute to it without my knowledgeI can’t be satisfied and happy. It often makes sense to look back on childhood. I have learned Faith in the persistence of love And the Trust unconditional love To develop? These are the two most important prerequisites for future partnerships. In the positive and negative sense.

3. What are the classic warning signs of an unhealthy relationship or a toxic partner?

So from this perspective, there are no toxic people, only toxic relationships. Warning signs in Lack of respect and disrespect head. if no appreciation More is happening There is no recognition And the No loving exchangeThese are signs of a toxic relationship. No one should forget: “Tango takes two people”. Blaming your partner is always a great prerequisite for not changing anything.

4. What should you do if one or more of these warning signs apply to your relationship/partner?

When I realize I keep coming back Accusative and disrespectful attitudes slip, then I have to ask myself what to do You unconsciously contribute to thisI encounter these situations over and over again. This saying applies often: Known misfortune is better than unknown happiness. This may sound bitter, but it also creates identity.

5. What are the warning signs that you should definitely not ignore in a relationship?

if it was The world revolves mainly around the partner And everything else should not be so, the probability of changing behavior is small. It is a prerequisite for the following guideline: I’m not feeling well, I’m not right. This guideline often proves true in a sense Self-fulfilling prophecies. Therefore, without wanting to, I subconsciously contribute to the fact that happiness and love cannot flourish.

6. When is it worth continuing to work in a relationship?

love and respect And the trust They are the pillars of a satisfactory partnership. It’s worth working on a relationship when it’s so The foundation of love and respect For the other in the partner and being one’s own. If you notice that some negative feelings stem from your own history and are constantly updated in the current relationship, as if you were on a stage, then your partner cannot be solely responsible. And so I can’t be the only one to blame for my partner’s pain and insult. In such a case, I can get rid of the old little by little Say goodbye to longing and pain And live more here and now. The more peacefully you look back, the more freely you look forward.

7. What is the best time to end a (toxic) relationship?

When I want to feel respected and appreciated and I want it Partnership at eye level and respect I want to live where my personality and I can grow, so I have to end a relationship where none of this is possible.

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