Psychology: 5 signs that you are being hard on yourself

Whether it is in relation to our job, our relationships, or our personal goals, if we judge ourselves too harshly, it can have a negative impact on our motivation and health in the long run. You can read about the warning signs here.

For some unknown reason, many people find it difficult to treat themselves with more care and love than others. For example, they expect better performance from themselves, they make fun of themselves for the same mistakes they comfort others about, and they deprive themselves of the rest they encourage others to do.

This is definitely understandable and somewhat understandable, after all we want to be the best people possible. We want to use our potential, feel valued, and view others as valuable. However, if we demand too much of ourselves and show too little understanding and compassion, it can lead to excessive demands and constant stress, which is notoriously unhealthy.

The following signals can be indicators that you can treat yourself with more leniency and kindness – without having to fear that you will then become a lesser person.

5 signs that you are being hard on yourself

1. You blame yourself for what you forgive others.

Being late, forgetting birthday, canceling an appointment too soon, making a reckless and insensitive statement – how do you feel when something like this happens to you? Do you blame yourself Do you insult yourself Do you lie awake for at least one night thinking how to fix your mistake? You may find this appropriate. But how do you react when something like this happens to other people, or what do you expect from them next? Should there be more than an apology? Do you think it’s fair to blame them for days? Or do you find it easy to understand and tolerate them?

If you allow others to make mistakes that are difficult for you to forgive yourself, it may be appropriate to ask yourself why. Why do you expect to be in perfect shape at all times when you can judge other people’s weaknesses and failures as a human being and that’s okay?

2. You can accept negative criticism more easily than praise.

Are you often surprised when you get good and sometimes skeptical feedback? Do you put it straight in your head, telling yourself, for example, that you are lucky, that you got help, or that the person giving the feedback is limited in their ability to judge you and your accomplishments? What about negative criticism? Do you see them right away? Are you grateful for that and do you feel some certainty?

If you find yourself in it, your self-perception seems to focus primarily on your weaknesses. In principle, there is nothing to prevent you from realizing your areas of attack and points that can be expanded, but at the same time you can see your successes and strength and be proud of them. Especially when other people see it and even show it to you. Wouldn’t it be rude to question their judgment?

3. You don’t have time to do what you want because you always prioritize what you have to do.

Do things you want to do for yourself keep sliding down your to-do list because you always prioritize what you feel is your duty? If so, the question arises: Why do you think meeting the demands and expectations that you or others have of you are more important than your own needs and desires? What do you think your needs will be if they don’t send you what you need? The duties, goals, and purposes that you pursue are a part and shape of your life, among other things, and therefore must occupy a space in your daily life. But your well-being and health are the foundation for being you and for fulfilling any duty whatsoever. So it would be more appropriate to rank them in order of priority when in doubt, but at least to find a balance between the tasks required and the tasks.

4. When someone hurts or disappoints you, you blame yourself.

When it comes to arguments and struggles, do you see that most of the blame rests with you? Are relationship problems or difficulties working with colleagues primarily due to your shortcomings? Do you often think when someone treats you badly that you deserve it in some way and wouldn’t if you had acted differently? There may be an excessive desire for control behind this situation, but it definitely isn’t fair to you. When two people are involved in a relationship, an argument, or something else, they both share the responsibility, usually almost equally, unless there is a hierarchical relationship. To put it into metaphor, if someone else steps on your toe, you are allowed to get angry with them, and don’t blame yourself for getting in the way.

5. You feel like you have failed in life.

Not feeling good enough? Do you think you are wasting your time and possibilities and making a little out of your life? Then it is possible that you set yourself very high standards. What do you think your mission in this world? Cancer treatment? Are you climbing to the top of any career ladder? Traveling in every country on earth? Why do you think you have more to do with your life than manage it? Would you also classify another person in your life situation as a failure? You are not alive to give a special performance, but to experience yourself, to endure struggles, to learn, to gain experience and to share what you can give with others. If you do, that’s enough. Even if it doesn’t seem like much to you sometimes.

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