Nanny and mother Vera Schweizer of Margrethausen knows: “Sometimes, even in the best parent-child relationships, storm clouds come: often the desires of children, parents or society differ greatly.”
Albstadt-Margrethausen – There are many topics that parents can make up their minds about when raising children. small group.
Unfortunately, the candy rack at checkout isn’t open to the public, and sandals aren’t the best choice in winter. But how do you skillfully maneuver around a child’s tantrum? “My experience has shown that it helps a lot to think with children. Treat them as whole beings with their own desires and opinions – and give them the opportunity to come up with a solution.” Verbal disempowerment is often worse for children than being unable to have something. “Children are still young, can’t argue properly and are given everything. Terrible feeling, right?” “But if the child has the feeling that the other adult really wants to find a way with you — not for you — the whole thing becomes more bearable,” Schweitzer continues. And until children learn not to always bang their heads against the wall, “patience and strong nerves are required.” No matter how angry and disrespectful children are, no one should give up. “When children realize that a tantrum facilitates the desired outcome, this behavior appears to be beneficial.” In this way, the child is deprived of the opportunity to control the impulse.
But there are many other areas that can irritate parents: “Sleep and dehydration are consistently in the top ten.”
sleep and dehydration
The sense of parental failure is often fueled by comparison with peers or literature. Why hasn’t my child been sober yet, even though my friends are? Vera Schweitzer knows: “Every child is different, and every child ticks their to-do list in a different order.” Some can run faster, others can talk faster. On the other hand, others prefer to sleep alone and no longer need Mom and Dad as safety, but they are not able to do it on their own yet. Schweitzer asserts that “each child has its own pace and strengths.”
“If a child does not want to sleep alone, they may still lack security – or may not be 100 percent sure they are not alone – despite the physical distance. These fears, fears and ultimately also the positive experience can only take the time or Give “. Kids are empowered for life when they can build deep-rooted confidence. Aside from that: “Everything goes, all the kids eventually sleep on their own. I’ve never heard of an 18-year-old needing his mom to fall asleep.” And once again it becomes clear: parents need patience. With regard to dry training, one can say almost the same thing: “Kids need time.”
Fibbing as a developmental step
“What’s constantly happening to my kids in our daycare, and even more so to my daughter, is vertigo. A stressful topic—yet it’s so wonderful and wonderful.” For a long time, Schweizer was (secretly) very happy when his daughter and babysitters tried to tell a story. “Focus on trying,” she adds.
Why does Vera Schweitzer think she’s so cool? “Because cheating is a developmental step. Children must learn to lie. It is very important and necessary.” Each development step that is taken leads to more in the direction of an independent personality. “By lying, children strengthen and learn important social skills – such as empathy.” So this topic should also be celebrated with a certain amount of pride. “My advice: talk to the children and show them understanding. But also explain that the truth is a really beautiful thing. This gives the child a moral compass that they can use as a guide.”
Mom and Dad are a couple
A child is born, everything changes – and life is suddenly going in a turbo. Unfortunately, life has gone beyond the usual. “What often falls by the wayside first is the personal relationship. Mostly the relationship with the partner.” This exact support, which a healthy partnership can provide, is so important as you go through the adventure of parenthood with your partner. Therefore, the relationship must be consciously and meticulously cultivated along with parenting. “I’ve noticed that caring for others through shared activities can be fun and inspiring as well, as I can also become a partner again outside of the mother role.”
Vera Schweizer and her husband had to reorganize their evenings: “For example, we figure out escape games for ourselves and work together on difficult puzzles.” She also says, “Others have kitchen parties for two or cook their way through an entire cookbook. I think anything is allowed—if you’re in touch with each other.”
In conclusion, Vera Schweizer says, “I would encourage all parents to have confidence in themselves and their children.” It is very important to think about how the child performs in his own skin. She fully reflects on self-criticism every day and tries to understand how her words might have been received – and what she should have done differently.