Are you in a relationship and sometimes don’t get along? This may be due to different types of love communication or the so-called “love language”. In general, you often hear that communication and affection are key, but how do you actually do it?
Communication is not the same as communication
People are different. A person is the sum of their experiences and decisions. So there are different needs. So your own needs don’t always match those of your partner. But the good news: You don’t have to! It is enough to know the needs of the other person and take them into account in his living environment. Everyone knows and feels love a little differently, basically, love languages can be divided into five categories, some people find themselves in several categories, others only in a certain category.
1. Praise and Appreciation (Words of Emphasis)
People who speak this language like to be praised or praised. If you carry this love language inside of you, you often have an eye for performance and friendliness. You show your affection through words and show that you respect and appreciate someone for their actions. Then you have the beautiful gift of finding the right words for any compliment and appreciation, and you are happy to receive it. Conversely, people who speak this language sometimes feel unsettled or frustrated if their partner does not praise and acknowledge them adequately.
2. Synergy (quality time)
If you are someone who has “chosen” teamwork as the dominant love language, then spending time together is very important to you. This usually culminates in complete attention, which goes hand in hand with no disturbance. So you want space and time for small talks, meals, and rituals. You and your partner work as a unit here and there is only you in this time period. Accordingly, you also feel better when your partner takes time for you, puts the cell phone away or plans to spend an evening together watching a movie or going to a restaurant. It is also about creating shared experiences and moments that recharge energy and are fondly remembered. If this language is ignored, one often feels neglected.
3. Gifts that come from the heart (gifts)
In this language, you will love it when you receive small gifts which are also welcome to be tangible. It is not necessary and does not have to have a specific cause. Small joys in everyday life give you a lot of strength and well-being. You yourself show in this language of love that you have thought about the other person. However, material value does not play a major role here. It could be something local, a little note on the door, or a new pair of comfy socks. Take your time when choosing a gift and appreciate it when others do and think the same.
4. Attention and assistance (service works)
“Actions are louder than words” is the motto of this love language. Phrases such as “Can I do something good for you?” , “If you need something, let me know” is standard vocabulary for people in this relationship language. You don’t help because you have to, but because you enjoy doing it and take it for granted. By being able to help others, you can also improve your mood. You appreciate it more when your partner does small jobs for you. This could be hanging the laundry, emptying the dishwasher, or just running the bathroom. This will show you that your other partner is trying to make your life easier and thus prove his love for you. If language is ignored, one often feels invisible and left alone.
5. Tenderness (physical touch)
Can’t do without physical closeness? Cuddling and nursing are a must and leave feeling good. This tenderness not only shows your love from others, but also conveys your love to your partner. For you, a gentle touch is more than just saying “I love you.” For you, skin contact is the ultimate “presence”. For you, in terms of this language, sex is much more than just satisfaction and desire. So every touch and every confession can be a token of love. The lack of physical closeness often leads to loneliness, as many lose “connection” with their partner.
How does this help me?
Knowing your own love language helps you to be clear about your needs and also to make it indirect to others. Knowing your partner’s language also explains why your love language sometimes doesn’t affect the other person. In this awareness you can now try to become a better lover and also allow yourself to be a better lover.