Nice to be there

Updated: 07/19/2022 – 19:21

away with all the self-doubt
Nice to be there

Photo: Shutterstock / DavideAngelini

It’s good to be able to love yourself completely. Why healthy self-confidence is also important to self-love.

“Love yourself,” we hear from all directions. But isn’t self-love selfish and arrogant? Especially when it is carried with confidence to the outside world? No it is not. It is a prerequisite to be able to love others.

Loving yourself, and even loving yourself, is an important prerequisite, perhaps even the most important thing, to be able to love others as well. How to overcome your self-doubt, what experts say about self-love and how it differs from narcissism.

Towards self-love: healthy self-confidence is important

As always, she looks amazing, as Olivia thinks when she sees her ex-school friend Teresa standing in front of the ice cream parlor. Radiantly beautiful, slim, self-confident, and with that great charisma she already had when she was a little girl. Help me, when you see me you will be scared because I have gained a lot of weight since I stopped smoking. Olivia would like to run away, but there is no chance.

The two women have known each other since they were children and meet once a year to eat, drink cocktails or eat ice cream, like today. It is impossible to pinch it. It wouldn’t be enough time either, because Teresa was seeing Olivia, and she would run to her happily and hug her tightly. “Wow, you look great!” She says appreciated. Olivia is surprised. Did I hear you wrong Theresa thinks I’m cool? “Do you really think so?” You ask uncertainly. “Oh, Ollie, you weren’t able to handle the compliments. Be more confident!” Teresa says. “I was always so insecure in school. Everyone turns their heads at you because you’re so cool.”

Yes, self-love is actually a thing in itself. Either you have it or you don’t have it.

Loving yourself comes with a lot of benefits

Some people seem to be born with enviable love. However, most people find it difficult to admire themselves. Low self-esteem has a powerful effect on our psyche: Negative self-esteem plays an important role in the development of depression. A study conducted at Ludwig Maximilian University of Munich showed that developing positive self-esteem and active self-love significantly reduced symptoms of depression.

Researchers at the University of Bern also found that positive self-esteem is more likely to lead to a successful relationship. But how can we actually strengthen our self-love? Well-known qualified psychologist d. Doris Wolf from Mannheim has an apt answer: “First of all, it is important to consciously monitor yourself and keep asking yourself if you would behave in this way towards a loved one. If not, you should change your attitude and behavior positively . “

Also effective: when we see ourselves in a shop window or mirror, we can say something nice like “I’m glad you’re here!”. And if we find ourselves doing this, we should also stop criticizing mistakes and grumbling right away. In general, it is important to always be aware of our strengths and accept our weaknesses in the moment. Incidentally, self-love is the boundary between narcissism and strong self-confidence. While it may seem that narcissists are overflowing with self-love and self-esteem, they are not. Instead, they are in love with an exaggerated image of themselves.

Hey, who doesn’t want to be loved?

The reason for their selfish behavior is a feeling of inferiority, which is compensated in this way. So narcissists have low self-esteem and don’t really love themselves or others. Of course, most people yearn to be loved or even loved. Some spend a lot of time and energy searching for external affection and approval. But this cannot be forced. Rather, they are a side effect of self-love. Giving yourself attention, appreciation, and love should come naturally.

Those who accept themselves value others too

Self-love is a fundamental aspect of self-esteem, which not only largely determines our self-image but also forms the basis of valued interactions with others. Healthy self-love is based on accepting oneself with all its flaws and imperfections. It is a prerequisite for emotional stability and the ability to love – in other words, anything but selfishness.

Expert in a short interview: “Loving yourself makes you strong”

cocky? Scheduled! Psychotherapist Dr. Doris Wolfe on self-love. A psychotherapist offers more advice on her homepage.

What exactly is self love?

The answer to the question is very simple: we give ourselves the love we give others and treat ourselves with the same respect.

What is the difference between self-love and narcissism?

A narcissist is self-centered, sees himself as the best and is always looking for only his own merits. He has neither sympathy nor sympathy. He also makes others small to make himself feel big.

Are we conceited if we love ourselves?

No way! Loving yourself doesn’t mean you walk around with a puffy chest and feel your best. It is a calm love that also radiates positively to others. Those who accept themselves have the basic attitude: I’m fine – and others are.

This article first appeared in Zeit für mich.


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Perhaps it is still about the attitude of women that many find it difficult to love themselves. Writer Tina Mullen also says, “There is no nice term for a self-determined lust woman.” What Else Do You Write About Experiences, Mindfulness – Also Of Sexuality – Emancipation And Femininity In Her Book.

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