We only want the best for our little ones – of course! We prefer to keep our children away from all the evils in the world, but too much care is not always good for children, after all, they must also have their own experiences. But this is easier said than done! These five signs indicate that you may be overly cautious.
#1 You are always afraid for your child
When your child is ready to let go of your hand on the playground and charge them alone, let them go. Children have a natural thirst for knowledge – give this childish curiosity room to develop! This is very difficult sometimes, because there are dangers lurking everywhere: a child can get hurt, someone can humiliate and annoy them, they can…stop! From the struggle to swing on the playground to the first apartment sharing during your studies – your son or daughter has to go through these experiences, including negative ones.
Tip: Let your child try things
You cannot and should not absolve him of all struggles and difficulties, because your child learns and progresses only by trying things (including failure). It has been proven that very anxious parents have anxious children: if a child has experienced throughout his life that his mother has always been afraid of this, then he will have less confidence in himself later. So, even if it is difficult, let your child experience it. If he falls, he’ll get up again – and then you’ll be there.
#2 You always see your child as the poor victim
Imagine your child has lost a singing competition and is crying bitterly over his loss. “I’m so sorry, my poor darling! You are so much better than this competition, you’ll never have to take part in it again!” He may express your sympathy and comfort the crying child for now. But disappointment, frustration, and sadness are part of life and make the joy of victory possible in the first place. If you want to protect your child from all the disappointments of this world, you also deprive him of the opportunity to transcend himself and achieve the incredible. If she wins a singing competition one day, she will make up for all the tears that have been shed.
Tip: Allow bad experiences too
Children need such experiences in order to be able to handle the demands of life. Instead of saving your child from frustration, encourage him to keep trying and turn disappointment into motivation!
Even if seeing our child in such desperation breaks our hearts as parents, the child gains strength of character: he learns that he has to do something for his own success and learns to appreciate it.
#3 You avoid difficult topics
It is not easy to talk to children about topics such as online dangers, violence or even death, but it is absolutely necessary. Creating awareness of the negative aspects of life is the first step in preventing them. Knowledge is power that applies here again: An informed child doesn’t get into a stranger’s car simply because he knows the danger.
Tip: Talk honestly with your child
It is much better to experience difficult, bad or sad problems in the protected and safe environment of the parents rather than through the media, at school or in a similar situation. Give your son or daughter the opportunity to ask questions and always add helpful and child-friendly explanations. These conversations are for clarity. Books are also useful for starting with difficult topics, eg b. About the separation of parents, the death of a loved one, etc.
#4 You protect your very shy child
It is unlikely that the mother would see the difficulties of her child making friends. All the kids are playing at the birthday party, but your kid is still standing and seems to be hiding by himself? Some children find it difficult to socialize with others. That’s totally fine, all people are different. But developing social skills is also necessary and beneficial.
Tip: Help your child carefully
Let your child try (perhaps with a little help) to make new connections and participate in each other’s games. Encourage them, even if they say they don’t want to play with the other kids. Here it is important to find balance, respect the child in his own way, and at the same time open up new possibilities for him and support him so that his shyness does not hinder him. Phrases like “Don’t be shy!” It has no place here, because that prevents your daughter or son any more. Make him feel that all is well and wonderful just the way he is. Do not protect your child from challenges, but encourage and support him. Praise your child and put the experiences together where courage has paid off.
#5 You always solve your child’s problems
Your child comes home with a bad grade, and your first incentive is to ask the teacher for an appointment? Of course there are many situations where such a conversation makes sense, but this is a question of thinking: Am I instinctively trying to absolve my child of all trouble? First of all, the child is responsible for his grades – and you have to strengthen your child in this matter! Children who did not have problems themselves find it more difficult as adults, especially when they one day slip into the role of mother or father.
Tip: Think of possible solutions with your child
In the end, problems at school should not exclude an appointment with the teacher, but first you need to realize this: take your child with you on the plane and give him the necessary tools for his life. Give him your experience and wisdom along the way, give him advice, come up with solutions to a problematic situation or come up with good sentences together to counter the bad boy from the parallel class. If your offspring quarrels with a friend, then let him resolve the disagreements himself, because after the resolution of the quarrel, the friendship becomes stronger. If your child asks you for advice, you shouldn’t get involved right away, but work with them to find strategies to solve the problem. But let it go by yourself, your child will make it! At some point he will become a teacher and a role model for his children.
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Image source: Getty Images / evgenyatamanenko / fizkes
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