Anyone who has children will automatically at some point be interested in the question of how they would like to raise them. What is good parenting and how can you raise children to be independent, value-oriented people? Is there perhaps even an ideal parenting method? The so-called “five pillars of education” provide a possible answer.
In most cases, parents only want the best for their children. You want to protect them and take care of them. And when they leave their parents’ nest one day, they should be well prepared to start the future on their own two feet. The basis for that: the upbringing that enables the child to appear and develop optimally.
What are the characteristics of good parenting?
At the heart of the guide is the question of what the child needs in order to be able to develop and open up freely. Tschöpe-Scheffler calls on parents and everyone involved in their upbringing (eg teachers) to question their parenting style. The relationship with the child should also be reflected with the help of the five pillars, and the parents’ sense of the child’s development should be honed.
The qualities of a good upbringing are described by the following five pillars:
- Love and emotional warmth
- Attention and respect
- Structure and commitment
- Financial support
The Five Pillars of Education according to Sigrid Tschöpe-Scheffler in detail
Pillar 1: Love and Emotional Warmth
The first pillar is called “Love and Emotional Warmth”. It is probably the most important foundation for a child’s development. Children need to feel loved, seen, comforted, and listened. They have the right to take care of themselves and a loving environment in which they can find support.
Pillar 2: Attention and Respect
The second pillar is about “appreciation and respect”. The child should have the opportunity to form his own experiences and find solutions to problems. In this way his individuality is respected and encouraged. They learn that their opinions are valued. Caring and respect are essential experiences that shape a child’s self-confidence and contribute greatly to the development of a healthy personality.
Pillar 3: Collaboration
The third pillar, called “cooperation,” aims to make it clear to parents that they are not the only determinants of the relationship with the child. It is important that the relationship is characterized by mutual understanding – and that the child is suitable for him. Age, has its own point of view that deserves respect Of course there are rules and structures that the child must adhere to, but they must be coordinated and defined as much as possible.
Pillar 4: Structure and Commitment
The fourth pillar, “Structure and Commitment,” is about how a child perceives adults. It is very important to be able to rely on what adults say, and promises should not be broken. Otherwise, the child will experience that the sayings of her adult are worthless, they are unreliable. If you deprive children of organization and commitment in their environment, they perceive their environment to be unpredictable, and the result: a loss of security and confidence at some point.
Pillar 5: Funding
The fact that every child is inherently curious is highlighted in the fifth axis entitled “Encouragement”. Adults should encourage this curiosity. Not by explaining and telling your child everything. Ideally, children should discover connections themselves, and adults should only be present to answer questions and identify new motives. Forcing a child to be curious and to learn is not possible and does not in any way help his development.
Later Added: Pillars 6 and 7
In the 2013 revised edition, Professor Tschöpe-Scheffler added the sixth and seventh pillars under the names “society” and “spirituality”. In society, children must be able to learn social skills. They should feel a sense of belonging and security in the community. For Tschöpe-Scheffler, “spirituality” does not just mean (Christian) faith, but is concerned with the fact that a child finds confidence in his life through the experience of spirituality, feels connected and can feel hope.
The Five Pillars of Parenting: A Good Guide Not Just For Parents!
Professor Sigrid Tschöpe-Scheffler has published her guide candidly, not only for parents, but for all people who want to deal with and bring up children. In both pedagogical studies as well as in training to become a teacher or day care worker, he provides those interested with valuable tips and suggestions for thinking about their own behavior and dealing with children.
It is important to understand that the five pillars of education cannot and should not be implemented by everyone in the same way. Nevertheless, they provide a good basis for anyone who wants to take a closer look at the topic of upbringing and upbringing style. And a very good compass for anyone wondering what they are doing well or not in their upbringing.
Would you like to take a closer look at the five pillars of education? Here you’ll find this and other guides by Sigrid Tschöpe-Scheffler:
Are you generally interested in different parenting styles? In the video you will find an overview:
What kind of mother are you or will you become?
Image source: Getty Images / malija
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