5 pillars you can build parenting on

Anyone who has children will automatically at some point be interested in the question of how they would like to raise them. What is good parenting and how can you raise children to be independent, value-oriented people? Is there perhaps even an ideal parenting method? The so-called “five pillars of education” provide a possible answer.

In most cases, parents only want the best for their children. You want to protect them and take care of them. And when they leave their parents’ nest one day, they should be well prepared to start the future on their own two feet. The basis for that: the upbringing that enables the child to appear and develop optimally.

Sigrid Tschöpe-Scheffler and its five educational pillars

Professor Sigrid Schöpp Scheffler, who taught family education at the Technical University of Cologne until 2015, published a guide on this topic in 2003 called The Five Pillars of Education. And the subtitle already makes it clear that it shouldn’t just be about parents, but rather about “development-enhancing cooperation between adults and children.”

What are the characteristics of good parenting?

At the heart of the guide is the question of what the child needs in order to be able to develop and open up freely. Tschöpe-Scheffler calls on parents and everyone involved in their upbringing (eg teachers) to question their parenting style. The relationship with the child should also be reflected with the help of the five pillars, and the parents’ sense of the child’s development should be honed.

The qualities of a good upbringing are described by the following five pillars:

    1. Love and emotional warmth
    2. Attention and respect
    3. cooperation
    4. Structure and commitment
    5. Financial support

The Five Pillars of Education according to Sigrid Tschöpe-Scheffler in detail

Pillar 1: Love and Emotional Warmth

The first pillar is called “Love and Emotional Warmth”. It is probably the most important foundation for a child’s development. Children need to feel loved, seen, comforted, and listened. They have the right to take care of themselves and a loving environment in which they can find support.

Pillar 2: Attention and Respect

The second pillar is about “appreciation and respect”. The child should have the opportunity to form his own experiences and find solutions to problems. In this way his individuality is respected and encouraged. They learn that their opinions are valued. Caring and respect are essential experiences that shape a child’s self-confidence and contribute greatly to the development of a healthy personality.

Pillar 3: Collaboration

The third pillar, called “cooperation,” aims to make it clear to parents that they are not the only determinants of the relationship with the child. It is important that the relationship is characterized by mutual understanding – and that the child is suitable for him. Age, has its own point of view that deserves respect Of course there are rules and structures that the child must adhere to, but they must be coordinated and defined as much as possible.

Pillar 4: Structure and Commitment

The fourth pillar, “Structure and Commitment,” is about how a child perceives adults. It is very important to be able to rely on what adults say, and promises should not be broken. Otherwise, the child will experience that the sayings of her adult are worthless, they are unreliable. If you deprive children of organization and commitment in their environment, they perceive their environment to be unpredictable, and the result: a loss of security and confidence at some point.

Pillar 5: Funding

The fact that every child is inherently curious is highlighted in the fifth axis entitled “Encouragement”. Adults should encourage this curiosity. Not by explaining and telling your child everything. Ideally, children should discover connections themselves, and adults should only be present to answer questions and identify new motives. Forcing a child to be curious and to learn is not possible and does not in any way help his development.

Later Added: Pillars 6 and 7

In the 2013 revised edition, Professor Tschöpe-Scheffler added the sixth and seventh pillars under the names “society” and “spirituality”. In society, children must be able to learn social skills. They should feel a sense of belonging and security in the community. For Tschöpe-Scheffler, “spirituality” does not just mean (Christian) faith, but is concerned with the fact that a child finds confidence in his life through the experience of spirituality, feels connected and can feel hope.

The Five Pillars of Parenting: A Good Guide Not Just For Parents!

Professor Sigrid Tschöpe-Scheffler has published her guide candidly, not only for parents, but for all people who want to deal with and bring up children. In both pedagogical studies as well as in training to become a teacher or day care worker, he provides those interested with valuable tips and suggestions for thinking about their own behavior and dealing with children.

It is important to understand that the five pillars of education cannot and should not be implemented by everyone in the same way. Nevertheless, they provide a good basis for anyone who wants to take a closer look at the topic of upbringing and upbringing style. And a very good compass for anyone wondering what they are doing well or not in their upbringing.

Julia Windhovel

forest for trees…

… at some point I couldn’t really see it. Ever since my oldest daughter moved from one infant to the next, I’ve been bombarded with parenting advice from many sides.

I’ve read and read many guides and at some point I decided that I had to accept that I couldn’t do everything right. And above all, the inability to do it properly anyway. I don’t have to.

This does not mean that I no longer deal with the subject of education. On the contrary! I must say that I really enjoyed reading Professor Chube Scheffler’s guide and gladly accepted her invitation to reflect on my upbringing.

Would you like to take a closer look at the five pillars of education? Here you’ll find this and other guides by Sigrid Tschöpe-Scheffler:

The Five Pillars of Education
The Five Pillars of Education

The price may be higher now. Price as of 07/27/2022 01:27

Ideal Parents and Working Children?: From a Legend
Perfect Working Parents and Children?: The Myth of “Correct” Parenting

The price may be higher now. Price from 07/26/2022 9:30 PM

The great power in the little things - the spirituality of living with children
The great power in the little things – the spirituality of living with children

The price may be higher now. Price from 07/27/2022 01:11

Are you generally interested in different parenting styles? In the video you will find an overview:

What kind of mother are you or will you become?

Image source: Getty Images / malija

Well, did you like “The Five Pillars of Education: How to Make Your Children Resilient and Balanced”, did it help you, or made you laugh or cry? Then give us a like or share the article with other nice people. We really appreciate your feedback – and more if you follow us on Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram, Flipboard and Google News.

Leave a Comment