In the worst case, “lawn-mower parents” are training their children to fear failure. We explain what’s behind the educational method.
How do I raise my children? Probably all parents ask this question. There is probably no easy answer to that. The pediatrician believes that parents should not be so perfect – more importantly to occupy themselves with their children rather than “turn it off” with technical devices. But perfectionism is easier said than done. Because there are also some educational methods that experts clearly advise against doing. One of them is the “submarine parents” who put their children’s success at risk by going underground.
Even helicopter parents love to smile. They circle their children constantly and are overprotective, which makes children of helicopter parents more successful later on, according to a US study. However, it becomes difficult when parents get out of the chopper, start a lawn mower and use it to mow every piece of grass, no matter how small, that grows in front of their children. Then one talks about my lawn mower dad. But what worries them?
Lawn mower parents deny ‘their children’s chance of overcoming obstacles’
Basically, lawn mower parents only mean it with their kids. But that’s the problem, psychologist Jenny Grant told Rankin NBC News. “These parents think they are helping their children, but [sie] Depriving children of the opportunity to bypass obstacles, ”explains the educational expert. An example of this is a parent who drives after his child the violin he left at home. In fact, the child will learn an important message from his forgotten instrument: that accidents and failures, big and small, are part of life.
However, if this opportunity is denied, children will never learn to deal with life’s obstacles or failures in a healthy way, Rankin explains. NBC News. “Kids who get the best of everything and don’t have the opportunity to learn to accept failure will later find it hard to come to terms with the chaotic nature of life.” These children are also less able to show gratitude – but it is an important factor in being happy.
Lawn mower parents are an important topic for teachers
The Institute for Integrative Education and Further Education also provides other examples of lawnmower parents. Lawn mower parents are a big topic, especially for teachers, because they often encounter a lawn mower dad writing an essay for his child or helping a lawnmower mom experiment with chemistry.
An extreme example of this type of lawnmower education can be found in the case of “Desperate Housewife” actress Felicity Huffman, who talks about who, among other things, Southgerman newspaper mentioned. She teamed up with other parents to trick their kids into a place at prestigious US universities for huge sums of money and got on trial in 2019. Also extremists are those ‘born’ grandparents who cross the border – mothers reveal how toxic it is.
In a post on saturday 1 tv breakfast Teacher and father Arne Ulbricht tells about experiences with lawnmower parents. Older students will also receive emails in which parents negotiate grades for their children. “Parents of lawnmowers keep their kids from being independent,” says the teacher and author (we write here about 13 amazing teachers who work hard for their students). “Secretly, parents only think they are doing something good for their children. But they don’t,” says Ulbricht.
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Lawn mower parents need to learn to reinterpret success
In addition to psychologist Rankin express themselves in NBC NewsArticles from other experts in lawn mower fathers. The desire to help is normal, so parents should also be kind to themselves, says Saba Haroni Laurie, a family therapist. It is important to reinterpret success. Success no longer means good grades, perfect homework, or not missing a single violin lesson, but that children develop independence and flexibility.
Then we can focus our energies on helping them make it happen. At the same time, we allow them to have their own experiences and resist projecting our lives on them,” Laurie agrees NBC News. She recommends that people who find themselves acting like lawn mower parents make a list. This should show what success looks like to you personally. The definition can then be revised gradually.
It is important to be patient and not give up right away. “It’s going to be hard at first: Your child won’t like change and will push you back to your old ways, so be strong. Good parenting will get easier,” says Laurie Bey. NBC News She recommends anyone who wants to be a less polite parent to read Carol Dweck’s Mind Book to help raise children to be more independent and resilient.
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