When is it worth it and how does it work?

When is it worth saving the relationship?

Relationships are complex and require a lot of work. There are many potential difficulties and crises can have many causes. Jealousy, constant arguments or lack of love are just a few examples. Do you have a feeling that your relationship is not smooth now? Are you wondering if the relationship can still be saved? We’ll help you decide and tell you how you can stabilize your partnership.

Save or end the relationship?

From a science and relationship research point of view, it’s always worth giving the partnership another real shot. Relationship problems are often less due to the fact that you don’t fit together, but because of certain behavioral patterns that everyone can work on individually. Read more about the different situations here.

Situation: love fell asleep

Especially in couples who have been together for a long time, the fire and passion often disappear at some point. Do you feel like you only live next to each other? Sex life is no longer exciting? You rarely spend intense quality time together and rarely have in-depth conversations?

In this case, love sleeps, but you have a good chance of waking it up again. The struggle for a relationship is worth it—especially if you’ve already spent a lot of time together.
As a rule, love did not fade here, but only receded into the background. This happens through stress, daily life, habits…

In order to get out of this situation, both partners have to make a conscious decision to return the love and relationship first.

Situation: the partner no longer wants

If both partners want and put in the effort, it is always better to get the relationship back. But what if the partner no longer wants it?

If your partner no longer feels comfortable in the relationship, trying to impress him with promises will be futile. Of course, it is not possible to have an affair with a person against his will – and this certainly will not meet your needs either. However, if it’s not too late, you can make one last attempt: show with your actions that your relationship can also be different.

If you still see potential in the relationship, but your partner no longer sees it, you should make prepayments now. Instead of impressing him, show your partner that you can spend quality time together. Make the relationship your top priority, respond to your partner’s needs, and be loving and respectful.

This pampering stage can make a difference. See how you and your partner feel about the process.

Position: an ongoing argument

Does your relationship consist of more struggles and quarrels than beautiful moments? Above all, when differences of opinion escalate more and more, it is stressful and resentment grows. One partner often feels that he can never satisfy the other, and the person feels lonely despite the presence of a partner.

However, there are always two people involved in an argument and it is almost certain that both will suffer from an argument. You can escape from this negative spiral if both partners are willing to give the relationship another chance, actively work on the behavior patterns that the other person likes and, if necessary, re-learn how to communicate with the help of psychological support.

Situation: The partner had an affair

When a partner is unfaithful, it shakes up the relationship like nothing else. Our confidence has taken such a rift, we question everything and don’t know anymore what to believe. Although one feels powerless at the mercy of the situation, this is not necessarily the case.

If you decide to give the relationship another chance despite your partner’s infidelity, you can return to a stable partnership with some work and help from outside – perhaps even stronger. First, try to remain calm and not make any hasty decisions.

Situation: violence in a relationship

One of the few times you shouldn’t save a relationship is when it comes to violence. In physical confrontations, your safety is at risk. If your partner is prone to physical abuse, this indicates that they are no longer in control of their aggression in the long run. Don’t let things get worse and end this relationship to protect yourself.

You will find help here:

  • who – which Help phone Violence against women can be accessed from the Federal Office for Family and Social Affairs around the clock, anonymously and free of charge: 08000-116016
  • who – which Victim’s phone From the Weisser episode accessible daily between 7 a.m. and 10 p.m.: 116006
  • On the website of the Federal Association of Women’s counseling centers And the Female emergency calls Find counseling centers in your area: Frauen-Gestung-Geutz.de

Saving a relationship – but how? 5 tips

Have you thought about your situation and think your relationship deserves another chance? Then pay attention to these things now to save your partnership.

1. Focus on beauty

Of course, problems should not be swept under the rug. However, the assumption that you first have to resolve all conflicts so that you can have a good time together again is simply wrong. This is not possible and constantly brings up disagreements and bad moments.

Instead, focus on experiencing the happy moments together. Be close, be nice to each other, do something nice together. This way you can establish contact with each other again and dealing with each other is also more understanding during conflicts. Plus, you can better balance the good and bad moments and find a healthy balance again over time.

2. We value partners

Sometimes, especially when we’ve been in a relationship for a while, we really forget to appreciate our partner. What do we love about it? What are we grateful for and what habits bring us happiness? Write down the qualities you value in your partner and express them regularly.

Anyone who feels appreciated is likely to return to closeness and love. Plus, looking at the situation from a positive perspective can be a game changer for you, too.

3. Avoid disputes

Of course, no one really likes controversy, and everyone involved suffers from constant arguments. But try to avoid disagreements, especially in the process of saving your relationship. This does not mean not expressing needs or simply accepting a lack of respect. Instead, it’s about not letting the conflict arise in the first place.

Try to resolve disagreements constructively, and be especially aware of the seriousness of the impact arguing has on the relationship. Perhaps a predetermined plan will help you better behave in emotional situations. For example, you can arrange for everyone to take a 15-minute break separately if things escalate. If in doubt, seek remedial support to learn how to communicate and understand the other person better.

4. Prioritize Partnership

When your partner tells you about his day, do you only listen half? When you have an idea for a new DIY project at home, do you not get support from your partner? There is never time for fraternity, but there is always time for a girls or friends night out?

A relationship can only be saved if both parties really want it. This includes not only the desire for a healthy relationship, but above all the work that must be put into it. Both partners should be willing to prioritize the relationship and each other again, invest energy and work towards a happy ending. This also includes making concessions.

5. Consciously share more tenderness

Has physical tenderness become a rarity in your relationship? Whether it’s due to lack of time, stressful everyday life, or lack of physical attraction – actively work against this. The lack of tenderness is often the result of emotional separation.

Try to hug and kiss your partner again more actively. Focus your attention on her and let the tenderness last for at least a few seconds. It’s also a good starter to hold hands when you’re walking or watching a movie.

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