Building resilience: coach gives 9 tips

Times of crisis, as we have been witnessing for years, are in and of themselves a huge burden. There is something you cannot use: Difficult people make them more annoying. Aggressive, reckless, or rude behavior is just as stressful as whining, bullying, or constantly scolding others. But let’s face it, everyone acts like this when they’re frustrated, stressed, or quit.

Even in times of crisis it is possible to live happily and fulfilled. Nine mental strengths help you better deal with injustice, disappointment, and loss. They promote resilience: the ability to handle difficult situations without sustaining permanent damage. Process what is possible and assume what you have to accept. Every crisis becomes an opportunity to improve yourself.

1. Strength: being loving when others are annoying

Even in the good times, it’s not always easy to be nice to others. Even the best partner is annoying at times, even the best of colleagues and friends are sometimes stressful.

The special challenge in crises: If we ourselves are stressed, then others who suffer from our weakness appear to us as an additional burden. We quickly respond lightly and rudely, even if we didn’t really intend to.

Exit way: Try to see that the other person is as needy as you. He has his own fears and anxieties and does his best, but that doesn’t always work out.

What you strengthen: the love. Not as a feeling that depends on the attitude and behavior of the other. But as a conscious emotion it is expressed in practice, for example through a few kind words, an encouraging smile, or a little help in everyday life.

The second strength: Be happy when you miss a lot

If you are burdened with everyday worries, such as stress with a boss, you can look to balance. Lovely evening at the bar, new series on Netflix, upcoming vacation.

The special challenge in crises: Lot is restricted or impossible, eg b. Due to limited capacities, access or travel restrictions, lack of money. There is no effect of recovery, and constant disappointments are frustrating.

Exit way: Relive your younger days when all it took was a little fun and enjoyment. If you improvise more, you will regain that lightness.

What you strengthen: cheerful. It depends less on circumstances than it seems. For example, if you do not have enough money to go to a restaurant, you can take a walk in the park, which is not only cheaper but also more fun and creates a stronger bond.

3. Strength: mediation when others are in a hurry

Conflicts are part of human nature (eg because of the struggle for limited resources), as much as one would like it to be otherwise. For some, it is also a means of securing influence and income (such as populist politicians, activists, and social media). The special challenge in crises: In times of uncertainty, fears, and fears, it is easier to become infected.

Exit way: Recognize yourself and others when anger, anger, or hatred suddenly appears as appropriate and fair reactions. Take a deep breath, think calmly, and then try to mediate—in a respectful tone, compromise, and forgiveness.

What you strengthen: Hello. Not as a requirement of others (such as politicians and the media) in distant conflicts, but as a way of life within your own sphere of influence.

4. Strength: patience when you might panic

If everything is going well, you are comfortable and fully ready to forgive others for their weaknesses and mistakes. Especially those whose abilities are limited for a variety of reasons (eg children, the elderly and the sick).

The special challenge in crises: The number of people in need is increasing, and so is the burden on others, who are already doing more. The strongest soon feel overburdened and react defensively.

Exit way: Know that you help others greatly when you accept their weaknesses and shortcomings without constantly pointing out to them. You know them yourself and are grateful for your support.

What you strengthen: patience. They are an important companion in these stages for weaker people. It won’t be like this forever. Likewise, there will be times when, conversely, you will need the patience of others.

Fifth Strength: Kindness, Even When It’s Inappropriate

In theory, one always prefers to be nice to others. In practice, obligations (appointments and tasks) and personal interests often overlap. Even a short conversation often seems unnecessarily disrupted.

The special challenge in crises: The tension is greater. There is a lot to do, but at the same time the possibilities are much more limited. You don’t want the supposed formalities to be slowed down.

Exit way: Make sure your life never becomes an endless to-do list. Because then it loses its meaning: good relationships with others make it rich and worthwhile in the first place.

What you strengthen: friendliness; By minimal standards of interaction (“please”, “thank you”, “how are you?”), but above all by what they represent: respect and concern for others, even when you have so much to do at the moment.

Sixth Strength: Patience, although there is much to criticize

It is getting easier and easier to see other people’s mistakes and like to imagine that you know that and you can do it yourself better. On the other hand, your mistakes seem pretty minimal.

The special challenge in crises: Everyone makes more mistakes. Difficult times require quick, far-reaching decisions, although many of them are not entirely clear. We react with insecurities and dissatisfaction with criticism.

Exit way: Assume that others have good intentions, even if you don’t share their goals and methods. Also, consider if you could do a better job. So, there is a kind of humility towards those who at least try, even if the result has not pleased you yet.

What you strengthen: Quality. So a kind, gentle look at others, which is distinguished by compassion and patience.

7. Strength: Staying When You Might Flee

When many couples and entire families have been forced to spend more time together than usual in the past two and a half years, there has been some noise and separation. Many friends also differed in disagreements, for example on political issues.

The special challenge in crises: Living together is more difficult, and more problems have to be overcome. Separation feels like liberation.

Exit way: Think long-term, and don’t make decisions out of discomfort. The tough times you went through together will also connect you and allow you to grow.

What you strengthen: Wafaa. They accept the weaknesses of everyone involved, including their own, and realize that even a less than perfect relationship, friendship, or cooperation has value and cannot be easily replaced.

8. Strength: calm down when you might panic

People have different temperaments, so they individually react to frustrating experiences and difficulties.

The special challenge in crises: They are all worse off, albeit in different ways. For some, money is scarce or their business is at risk. The next is upset by politics that does not correspond to his ideas, or fears his company. All this leads to fear.

Exit way: Find positive ways to reduce your aggression. This can be walking or sports, meditation and prayer, and creative work (such as writing about your worries, depicting them in pictures).

What you strengthen: kindness. You do not deny or suppress the negative forces within you, but redirect them. This will reduce irritable behavior and you will soon be more relaxed, even under stress.

9. Strength: Control Yourself When Things Are Difficult

When you are under stress, you have a way of dealing with it. Some are not positive (eg aggressiveness, violence, alcohol or drugs, sexual adventures).

The special challenge in crises: You will be challenged more and more relentlessly than you are used to. In doing so, you will discover personality traits and behaviors in yourself – and in others – that you don’t like at all or even frighten you.

Exit way: See the crisis as a stress test that reveals your weaknesses. This is inconvenient, but to your advantage in the long run. Then you will know what your strengths are and where you can improve them.

What you strengthen: Self control. You can see very clearly what you can do better in the future, you would rather be a role model and learn from it. Not much time or energy left to work on others.

These nine strengths belong to the eternal knowledge of humanity. It can actually be found in the biblical book of Galatians (Chapter 5, verses 19-22), which was written nearly 2,000 years ago. Many current challenges – epidemics, climate change, wars – have accompanied humanity through all ages, albeit to varying degrees. The personal impact on this is often very limited – but it’s always big enough to do at least something better than before.

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